English Jokes

Vanentine's Day

Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."

Boy: "Really?"
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"


What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Happy Independance Day


What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

"I love you a ton!"


My thoughts and prayers go out to all men today whose girlfriends are on their period this Valentines day.

puppy love

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
''can kids of our age have kids?''

Teacher replied '' NO Never!!''

Boy said to girl :
''see i told you not to worry!!!!''.

real or fake

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

3 idiots and Hospital

One day 3 idiots were talking with each other...
1st idiot:Do you know that my father jumps from 10 floors,sit on bike and ride to office.
2nd idiot:Do you know that my father jumps from 20 floors,sit on car and drive to office.
(3rd idoit thinks what to tell and says)
3rd idiot:Don't you know that my father jumps from 30 floors,sit on ambulance and go to hospital.

patient and doctor

one day 1 man come in hospital.
then his turn comes.
doctor said what problem do u have
patient i have forgetting problem
what i have to do.i have problem from 3days
doctor said since you have problem.
what problem i have

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